The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
