so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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