nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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