I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
