A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
