You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
