There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
