Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
