I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
