he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
