In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
