There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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