Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
