Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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