This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize