Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
