mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All I want is dick and wine.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
