Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't deserve a penis
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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