maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We are two peas in an std pod
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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