Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
please don't ironically join a cult
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