I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
