so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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