Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
only you would photoshop your dick
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
