my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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