omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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