We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize