Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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