Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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