Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
