we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
