Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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