At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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