i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
