i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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