She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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