obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
