no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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