he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
