Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
