Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
