I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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