Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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