We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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