it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
