Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
