why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
