I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
