Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize