Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
