Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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