the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
