I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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