you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
