ugly people sure do ruin things
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
