I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just want nice things and good sex
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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