My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
