Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize