It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
