I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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