doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
