Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
