I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize