she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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