I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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