We won't sleep together?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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