I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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