We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize