I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
