I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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