she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
