A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
