Me. At least after what I've been through.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
