With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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